And the bride chose self-absorbed after picking same wedding date as anniversary of family’s death
Weddings are a joyous occasion, a day filled with happiness and an outpouring of love.
But for one woman, her friend’s wedding date triggered a traumatic memory that even after seven years, is still fresh in her mind.
Reddit, user @Warm_Blanket12 asked her fellow Redditors if she was “AITA (am I the a******) for not attending my friend’s wedding on the day of my family’s death anniversary”?
“Seven years ago, I (35F) lost my husband, daughter, and mother to a car accident. They were hit by a drunk driver that drove though a red light and killed all of them on impact,” she wrote.
She visits her family’s grave every anniversary of their accident which involves a 7-hour drive.
“This year I plan to do the same thing but ran into an issue with my friend having her wedding in my old city,” she said.
“My friend ’Amy (33F)’ (fake name) announced she was engaged last year to her boyfriend of 3 months. My friend group and I were quite shocked as we never even met him nor did we know she was dating anyone as we usually tell each other, but nonetheless we congratulated her and were happy for her.”
Then, about a week ago Amy phoned called @Warm_Blanket12 privately to tell her that she is having her wedding on the same day of her family’s death anniversary, “and would like me to not visit their graves and just attend the wedding instead”.
“I was quite shocked that the wedding was planned that specific day and questioned as to why she picked that day, Amy told me she just liked the number date and told me that I can’t just gate-keep a certain day.
“Here’s where I think I am the AH, I told Amy that unfortunately I will not miss out on visiting my family’s graves. I tried to ask for a compromise and told her if my emotions were that much of a problem, I’ll attend their graves after the wedding was over.
“She said she wants my support for the entire day and dedicate it towards her, but she’ll think about my offer. It’s been a week and I have not heard from her, I feel like should just go to the wedding to keep the peace as I owe it to her, especially after all the support and love she gave me after my family’s death.
“But it still doesn’t feel right that just attend the wedding and forget about my family. Would I be an AH if I told her I won’t be attending the wedding at all if she hasn’t reached a decision?”
The post gained 12.7K views with more than 523 comments.
The general consensus was “Amy’s blatant insensitivity towards her friend’s loss”.
One user had a theory of their own, asking “Does anyone else think this ‘friend’ deliberately picked the death anniversary for some reason?“
Another said: “I have a question. Why is Amy allowed to gate-keep that day for her own, but not you?”
Suffice to say, @Warm_Blanket12’s post was upvoted to “non a******” status.
Kim Chipendu is a columnist for Healthy Organic Lifestyle.